Pro Card Reject


Liner Notes: We might not win our age group or win a spot to Kona through the lottery, but there's always the pro route, right? Join us as we take a journey through the mind of a pro triathlete wannabe...

Logged on the internet
Registration just won't link
Event sold out in 40 minutes
My heart began to sink

Age group slots have all been taken
On-site, wouldn't ya know
Then an idea crossed my mind
What if I raced as pro?

Back on the internet
Downloaded the proper forms
Sent my app in triplicate
A new pro racer is born

Then I got a courier letter
Two weeks to the day
Opened the letter and started to read
"With regret I'm sorry to say.."

Your a pro card reject
Method's a little suspect
Pro card reject

Pro card reject
Treated like a defect
Pro card reject

On the phone to plead my case
Raced a major last fall
Ripped it up on the swim and run
Placed 42nd overall

I told them about the three before
And the race where I almost died
They politely listened to my plea
"Your application's been denied!"

There seems to be a misunderstanding
I paid my annual fee
I have lined up 14 sponsors
Why won't you acknowledge me?

There are a few requirements about bein' pro
And I'm sure you are endearing
First and formost, you must be fast
Have you considered volunteering?

Your a pro card reject
Method's a little suspect
Pro card reject

Pro card reject
Treated like a defect
Pro card reject