I Want My Four Miles


Liner Notes: When our intrepid guitarist, David, went to Madison to compete in his first Ironman he ran into a little problem known as hyponatremia, or over-hydration. Instead of a medal at the finish line he got a 48-hour stint in the ICU for his efforts. Fortunately he returned a year later with an army of supporters (hecklers) and a bucket full of salt pills and managed to successfully finish the journey that ended so painfully the first time around.

Seemed so easy, we had a plan
Race our first Ironman
Packed the car, head to Madison
Supposed to be a simple swim, bike, and run

Register, hit the Dane for a beer
But the forecast wasn’t clear
Cold and rainy, what to do
So we packed rain gear and a an extra Gu

Over-hydration, it’s a bitch
Cause they found me lyin’ face down in a ditch

I want my four miles
What the hell did I do?
I should have taken all my salt pills
Cause I woke up here in the ICU

The swim went well, I can’t complain
We biked a hundred plus miles in the rain
Saw my family, put on smile
Then I struggled in the wind another mile

Hit the run, in distress by this time
Twenty six miles ‘til the finish line
Last I recall, 13 to go and in pain
As my family stood at the finish in the rain

Drank too much water, that’s a fact
So four miles short I took a dirt nap

I want my four miles
What the hell did I do?
I should have taken all my salt pills
Cause I woke up here in the ICU

I want my four miles
The ones you took away from me
Grab my IV, let’s head to the course
Could ya get this catheter outta me?